You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
