HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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