clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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