I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
