There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
