i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
