Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize