Just mADE A PArabola og urine
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
