8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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