somebody snuck up and got me drunk
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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