Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
