No, drunk sperm still make babies.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
