apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I deserve this hangover.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
