I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
