I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
