I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
