Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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