Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize