he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
