my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
