No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
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