Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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