Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
