I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
