For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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