are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
