Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
