Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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