honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Ambien. No doubt about it.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
