I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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