yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
