How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
