im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
