the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
All the doctor said was why
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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