Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
