CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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