Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
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I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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