what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
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