the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
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I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
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There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
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