Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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