I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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