you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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