i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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