i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
