Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
