hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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