Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Randomize