I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
