Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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