Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize