I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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