Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
