He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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