I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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