You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Too much gin, very little bucket
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
