i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
whose ass print is on the piano?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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