your parents love me but you hate me
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
My balls are so social today.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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