honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
