Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I have fence marks all over my body
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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