i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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