then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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